Bye Bye Darling

This is the post I so wanted not to have to write...

I lost my best friend at 9.45 this morning. She fought the bastard tumour with bravery and spirit. She clung to life until the last. Three times in the last week I thought the time had come; three times she told me, "Not yet dad, just a little longer." Her spirit, her sheer desire for life, shone through.

Yesterday, on what turned out to be her last walk, she did something she had never done before - twice. Rather than follow me like she always did, she told me where SHE wanted to go.

Last night, around midnight, she jumped up like she'd been hit by an electric shock and was in obvious distress. I guess the tumour had reached a nerve. She had an uncomfortable night, the decision to call the vet this morning was not a decision at all, it was an imperative. Half an hour later, she was at peace; her pain was gone.

She passed away with me cradling her head and my daughter Tioman gently stroking her. I hope she knew how much we loved her. I think she did. She just lay on the floor as the needle was put in and let it happen. She was exhausted, all out of fight.

She'd been totally spoilt for the fortnight or so since the cancer was diagnosed. On the bed at night. Chocolates. Her favourite food. I even made her spag bol on Tuesday. All her favourite walks one last time. Lots of fusses and pats.

Now, even with four other lovely dogs, the house feels empty. When I took them out for a walk today, I kept instinctively looking back for her. All the dogs are very quiet today. I don't know if they know, or they're just picking up my distress.

The last photos I took of Tasha were on Wednesday 14th. Here are a few. The last of them is the last picture I ever took of her. Ravaged by disease, yet still up for a walk, still leading her pack and still enjoying life.

Rest in peace, Tasha, you wonderful, wonderful girl. I'll never, ever forget you.